When you’ve got most of the money you want and everything you’ll really need, the ultimate luxury is having enough willpower to say enough is enough.

A sea cruise is an opportunity to test your mettle, for you will be smothered with comfort.

Wouldst thou both eat thy cake and have it?

Of course you deserve it. And, yes, it’s your money and you can spend it any way you want.

As long as you are controlling your urges, and they are not controlling you.

The Russians put it well: Better bread with water than cake with trouble

There was a time, not that long ago, when I was living so far beyond my means I thought we’d got divorced.

It was then that I found a bank is a business that will lend you money only if you can prove you don’t actually need it.

It was at this low point that – Eureka! – I realised I had pretty much everything I needed – until the next bill arrived through the letterbox.

So, with time resting on my hands like an overweight herd of elephants I decided to do what the Americans call ‘shop the closet’. That is, take a close look at all the stuff cluttering my home, chuck out the useless unwanted crap (the wife clung to the front door with her fingertips until I prised them loose) , and enjoy the rest – all over again.

I was further enlightened by a Zen restaurant in London where the less you got on your plate, the more you paid for it.

What a great idea, getting paid loadsamoney for doing as little as possible – a bit like writing this blog…as if.

Better a life on a boat, than in a blizzard

So there you are on the cruise ship of your choice, reading this, glad to escape the bitter blizzard currently engulfing the UK and most of the top half of the world and wondering what the hell I’m on about.

It’s simple. Zen is about meditating on your inner self until you reach enlightenment and realise you are actually part of the world, in the deepest sense. It’s either that, or it’s about a book on motorcycle maintenance.

If you’re a rich person on a cruise try to leave something on the proverbial plate, resisting the temptation to lick the platter clean. You’ve arrived. You don’t have to prove anything. Enjoy the cruise, already.

Small is also beautiful

If you’re a poorer passenger, stuck in an inside cabin and this is your first sea cruise, please don’t get envious of of your richer counterparts.

For whichever way you look at it you are on the same ship as everyone else, and you get to eat and do as much (or as little) as them.

And just how much time will you spend in that cabin, anyway?

Get out there, join the other passengers, smile and have a great time.

Beat the blues, take a cruise

If you’re worried or unhappy, take a long walk around the deck and up and down the staircases (leave the lifts alone), for the exercise will help sort you out mentally and physically far more than all those doctors, psychologists, bankers or quacks.

It also encourages good digestion.

While you’re at it, sign up for the other on-board exercises in the spa or gym.

And if none of this works to lighten your dark mood I recommend one of the best pick-me-ups of all: a nice cup of English tea.

By the way, you are what you eat and too much rich food can sap your energy and bring you down.

So why not take a day or two off the heavy and sweet stuff, eat some salad, grilled or poached fish, and take the fruit back to your cabin where maybe you should wash off the pesticides etc before you eat it.

When life’s like a shipwreck, you can always sing in the lifeboat

Then get back out on deck at every opportunity. Sniff the air, meditate on the scenery, observe your fellow passengers – and the crew, sit back, be yourself and just be part of everything.

For the art of zen is as valid on a cruise ship as anywhere else.

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