What might you think do Peter Kay and Susan Boyle have in common?

No, it’s not the obvious answer, but the fact that both come in the top five most wanted performers to appear on cruise ships.

The wish list also featured contemporary singers and comedians such as Michael McIntyre (2nd) and Michael Buble (3rd).

Coming in just behind Subo in fifth place is none-other than the doyen of cruise ship crooning, Jane McDonald, who’s name was made when Celebrity Cruises allowed a film crew to make a warts and all documentary about life on board in the early 1990s.

There are other expected personalities who make the top 15 from a poll of almost 5,000 regular cruisers conducted for Carnival UK, the parent company of P&O Cruises, Cunard, Ocean Village and Princess Cruises.

These include Shirley Bassey (8th), Katherine Jenkins (10th), and Victoria Wood (11th).

Up there in sixth place is king of the Diddymen Ken Dodd, Mr Summer Holiday himself Cliff Richard in ninth place and Tom Jones (13th).

While I can’t see Rod Stewart (7th) of Billy Connolly (12th) making their debuts on a cruise any time soon, Michael Ball (14th) could be a possibility and I’m sure fifteenth-placed Stephen Fry would make a perfect cruise director.

I’ve look been of the view that cruise ship entertainment gets a bad press, generally from people with preconceptions of a poor regional theatre group being as about as good as it gets on board.

While there’s no getting away from the West End-style shows, overall entertainment at sea has come on leaps and bounds in recent years with the help of high tech staging and theatres that would put many a London equivalent to shame.

We will rock you

The poll, part of the annual Carnival UK Cruise Report, also highlighted the popularity of tribute bands – something I reckon really works on a cruise – with the likes of Bon Jovi and Rolling Stones acts near the top of the list.

Other respondents suggested they’d like to see the X Factor finalists performing along with anyone from Strictly Come Dancing – this is already happening with Thomson Cruises.

Other forms of entertainment cruise passengers identified were dance bands, modern comedians, American and Irish country music, full orchestras and classical musicians.

Given the size of today’s resort-style mega ships, I don’t see any reason why all these requests for different styles of music and comedy can’t be accommodated.

What would be genuinely impossible, however, would be to raise Elvis, Frank Sinatra and Les Dawson from the grave, despite a number of requests in the survey.

I’d like to see cruises in the future promoted by the talent signed up to perform on board.

This has started to happen with TV’s Derren Brown appearing on a mini cruise on board P&O Cruises’ Aurora last autumn.

For me, the idea of a long week on a stylish ship with top class entertainment thrown in each night would have huge appeal.

Take a break, take a cruise

Given that Carnival Corporation’s chairman and CEO Micky Arison predicts in the same report that the number of Brits taking a cruise will double to three million in ten years, the opportunity for more creative ways of attracting more people on board is huge.

Arison reckons there will be an increasing level of shorter duration cruises to help draw in more first-timers.

“There are very few short cruises in the UK right now but this will change over time because the higher quality ships with their greater range of facilities being built and operated these days will act as interesting destinations in themselves,” says Arison.

If his vision proves correct, look out for more affordable short break cruises in the next couple of years coupled with some great acts on board.

Phil Davies

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