Where are you sailing to, on New Year’s Eve?

Where are you sailing to, on New Year's Eve?

Right now, while you are reading this, thousands of people around the world are looking forward to seeing in the New Year – on a cruise ship.

The jammy beggars. And there’s me and the missus stuck in Cowes with our close friends and family and beloved cats and enough food and drink to see us well into next summer. I’m sure we’ll cope.

Every year, the good folk of Cowes put on fancy dress (I’m coming as Long John Silver, wearing a dead parrot) and go round the town’s many pubs and bars to a) party, b) drink themselves into the next year and c) raise money for charity.

Some of us may even glance out the window at the cruise ships sailing into 2011 on the Solent, and toast all those lucky passengers.

And this could be what they’ll be singing as the Chimes of Midnight approach, if they’re drunk enough:

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one…

It’s New Year’s Eve again
The Captain’s in a funk
The passengers are reeling
A housemaid’s in his bunk
The purser’s drunk and merry
The chef is topped with gin
An iceberg is approaching
The satnav’s in the bin
Let’s all hold hands together
To see the old year out
While counting down to midnight
Happy New Year! Turnabout!!

But you don’t have to be on a cruise ship to travel to distant places. Just open your mind.

I’ve just been looking through the mottos that fell out of the Christmas crackers my family and I pulled last weekend.

Rearranging them on my kitchen table while sipping a seasonal glass of fine malt whisky and inhaling one of my favourite Havanas – a Hoyo de Monterrey Epicure no.2, the following seemed to be the natural order of …

Twelve things to remember on New Year’s Eve

1. The value of time.
2. The success of perseverance.
3. The pleasure of working.
4. The dignity of simplicity.
5. The worth of character.
6. The power of kindness.
7. The influence of example.
8. The obligation of duty.
9. The wisdom of economy.
10.The virtue of patience.
11.The improvement of talent.
12.The joy of originating.

Happy New Year

Carry on cruising.

James Leavey

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Posted in Humour

31 Dec 2010

2 Comments

  • Dec 31 2010
    17:19

    SallyG

    Great blog, James, and the Diana Krall Youtube. I shall be out in Cowes in my version of a ringmaster’s (mistresses?) outfit tonight, complete with the usual instrument to bring order to the proceedings… Happy New Year to you and yours. Sxxxx

  • Jan 05 2011
    1:25

    milton

    This New Year’s Eve, walking home from the pub, I sensed magic in the air and noticed a tired old fox disappearing into a hedge. Before he vanished he turned to me and said, “I’m the spirit of 2010. You won’t be seeing me again.” Then he was gone.

    A moment later I saw a tiny kitten approaching. “I’m the spirit of 2011,” she said. “You’ll be seeing a lot more of me.” I picked her up and stroked her gently under the chin. Then something magical happened. She turned into a police officer.

    My case comes up at Wimbledon Magistrates in three weeks.

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