With a general election looming, I thought I’d fire the opening shots on behalf of the Cruise Party.
Of course the party doesn’t actually exist, but if it did, I reckon it would be unbeatable. Not only would it attract the most floating voters, but its core philosophy – spread happiness, give people value for money – would surely be an election winner.
As I see it the Cruise Party’s approach would be to take all the virtues of modern cruising, which have proved successful in the holiday industry, and apply them to the running of the country.
The pound in your pocket
At the heart of this would be the desire to help people enjoy themselves and get more value from the pound in their pocket. That would strike a chord with many.
Talking of value, it was Oscar Wilde who once famously remarked, “The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.” He could easily have been making the case for cruising.
After all you cannot judge a cruise holiday on price alone. To make a proper assessment you need to also take into account the value it delivers to the customer.
When you do, you realise that each cruise comes packed with value – offering additional benefits that are available at no extra cost. So let’s run through a few of these value-adding features.
First, unless you’ve chosen a mini cruise, you’ll get to visit several locations in one holiday. There’s no danger of getting bored with any single destination, because in most cases you’ll find yourself somewhere else within 24 hours.
And no need to worry about lugging suitcases around or transporting yourself from one place to another. Your cruise liner does all the hard work for you.
Second, your ship is your hotel, which means the cost of your accommodation is bundled into the price of your holiday package. And you’ll be pleased to learn that your room and all the services associated with it will be of a high standard.
Third, while you’re on board, all your meals are provided at no extra cost. It’s worth bearing that in mind, because the quality of food on today’s liners is high and the choice wide.
Finally, the ship is also your holiday resort. That means you have access to a whole range of leisure and entertainment activities, most of which are supplied at no extra cost.
And if all that wasn’t enough, there’s also the excitement of being almost constantly on the move.
There’s a tremendous buzz that comes from being part of a floating city, travelling between different climates and time zones. Something new and interesting is always happening or about to happen.
You feel as if you’re on a great adventure.
British way of life
Make no mistake, if the Cruise Party took over the running of UK plc, you’d notice immediate changes to the British way of life. Not least of these would be the fact that the whole population would be encouraged to spend as much time as possible cruising.
So what effect might this have in key policy areas?
Crime – expect to see a dramatic drop in criminal activity, because cruise ships are virtually crime free. There’s something quite uplifting and motivating about being on board a luxury liner that seems to deter people from breaking the law.
Education – what could be more educational than travelling to distant countries to experience other lifestyles and cultures at first hand? You even get a chance to try out your foreign language skills on native speakers.
Health – all that ocean air and mental stimulation can do wonders for your mood and constitution. You’ll return with a sense of well-being of a kind the NHS is rarely able to provide.
But it’s perhaps in foreign policy that the Cruise Party would really shine. What could Brown, Cameron, Clegg or indeed any other UK political leader deliver that could match the Cruise Party here?
Just check out what’s on offer in these key parts of the world:
Packed with value
But remember, despite everything I said earlier, if price remains your number one concern, cruising still has something to offer.
That’s why I say, “Vote for value. Vote cruise.”
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