Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All on the oceans of Debt
Cruised the six hundred.
“Forward, the Bright Brigade!
“Charge for the drinks!” they said:
Into the oceans of Debt
Cruised the six hundred.

“Forward, the Bright Brigade!”
Was there a passenger dismay’d?
Not tho’ the sailor knew
Someone had blunder’d:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to buy and sigh:
Into the oceans of Debt
Cruised the six hundred.

Cruise ships to the starboard of them,
Cruise ships to the port of them,
Stopover ports to the forward of them
Swallow’d and plunder’d;
Storm’d at with shops that outsell,
Boldly they bought not well,
Into the oceans of Debt,
Onto the oceans of Label
Cruised the six hundred.

Flash’d all their credit cards bare,
Flash’d as they lost cash in air,
Saving some money here and there,
Charging like barmy, while
All the world wonder’d:
Plung’d in the credit-smoke
Right thro’ the line they went broke;
Prozac-ed and rushing
Reel’d from the saver’s yoke
Cash shatter’d and sunder’d.

Cruise ships to the starboard of them,
Cruise ships to the port of them,
Empty credit cards to the aft of them
Folly’d and asunder’d;
Swarm’d at with shops and sea-sell,
While white horses and swooping seagulls fell,
They that had bought they thought so well
Came thro’ the oceans of Debt
Back from the cruise shops of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

When can their story fade?
O the wild credit charges they made!
All the world wondered.
Honour the charges they made,
Honour the poor Bright Brigade,
The financially unburdened six hundred.

James Leavey

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Posted in Cruising, Humour