If you enjoy a regular cup of proper British tea, chances are that on most non-UK cruise ships you will get frustrated. The same can also too often be said, alas, for the coffee.
Now if you asked most passengers what was the most vital aspect of their cruise experience, they’ll usually come back with the word: food. It’s a well known fact that most cruise ship passengers will happily eat themselves into a decline, 24 hours a day, for food keeps boredom at bay.
You know what it’s like. You wake up in the morning and there’s anything up to 60 things to choose from on the breakfast menu. The same goes for lunch.
Unless you’ve got an iron will, you’ll probably dump twice as many things on your plate than usual, in the hope that a couple of turns round the deck and a few more salad leaves at dinner will balance everything out.
In reality what is likely to happen is that the pounds will pile on and the crew will have to extract your bloated body off the ship at the end of the cruise – with a large shoehorn and tub of Vaseline.
And why not? For you’ve paid your money and you may as well eat your way round the world.
But maybe you could keep the pounds off your midriff by transferring your attention from the endless snacks and meals throughout the day or night – to tea.
Brewing a good cuppa is very simple: all your need is a tea bag (loose tea is a messy business and you’d have to carry a tea pot and strainer with you, at all times), some hot water, some milk or lemon (and sugar, if that’s your poison).
The tea itself should be a standard British brand, such as PG Tips, Typhoo or Tetley’s. If you’re not near a British supermarket or shop, order some via the Net.
When you order tea on some cruise ships they’ll often come back with a box of herbal teabags – or Earl Grey, which is disgusting. And you’ll probably have to tell the steward that warm water is NOT acceptable (if in doubt, bring a travelling kettle with you – preferably one that runs on Solar panels so you can brew up while you’re sunning yourself on the deck.). Real milk (not dried or those small fiddly plastic tubs of UHT) is also vital.
I don’t take sugar but have to admit that I do like a biscuit or piece of cake with my tea. Tea is usually bitter so you may feel the need to sweeten it.
As for how long you let the tea bag stew after you have poured the boiling water on it depends on whether you like your teaspoon sticking straight up in the air out of the cup, or not.
May I remind cruise lines that a decent cup of tea is not something you want to sip from anything but a real china cup, preferably with a saucer to hold the slops, teaspoon and sugar/biscuits. Failing that a china mug will do. Plastic or other containers are a no-no. While I do not like tea served from a vending machine, I have no objection to filling my cup (with the tea bag in it) with hot water.
It would also be nice to have somewhere to dispose of the used tea bag properly – rather than over the side of the ship.
As it happens, most cruise ships provide some form of afternoon tea, with sandwiches and cakes, around 4pm. If it’s not up to scratch, tell the steward or even better, the purser.
Then maybe at the end of your voyage, they’ll pour you off the ship rather than heaving you over the side.
Leave a Comment