Imagine it’s your birthday and your cruise ship is parked just off Rio de Janeiro for the annual carnival.

You’re dressed as a Mandarin duck and waddling round the deck, juggling two trays of cocktails, handing out free drinks.

You’re so drunk you’ll probably never remember the look on the face of the captain when you tipped one of the trays over his head and kissed the plumed vestal virgin who happened to be passing by.

It was midnight in Brasil and there were fireworks, in every sense of the word.

Whoo boy.

If only you had a third pair of hands for a video camera to record this momentous and embarrassing occasion you could have a good laugh at yourself once you’ve sobered up.

You might even, if you got drunk again, upload the video to YouTube.

Well, you should be very careful what you wish for. For, as they say, one day it may come true.

They also say if you walk a mile in somebody else’s shoes you’ll end up with blisters.

The days of the blisters aren’t gone but, whoopsy-doopsy, you can now walk, run, jump, skip, slide, hobble, hop or stand in your own footwear and share whatever you see via your Mac or PC.

Now I see you, now you don’t

And nobody will know you’re filming them.

It all came to me over an ashtray I shared in London earlier this week with Jaymie Smolens from Virginia. He’d flown to an auction to bid for some rare boxes of vintage Havanas, as you do.

Shame they didn’t hold the auction on one of the cruise ships that still allow passengers to smoke.

Jaymie was indulging in a special treat to celebrate the growing success of his brainchild – hands-free-video spectacles where the lens is on the centre of the bridge and you can also capture the moment in a still frame.

These are not a fad or a cheap toy and are likely to change the world of cruising – and everything else we’d love to record, surreptitiously, from our own perspective – as we know it.

But it’s not all about quietly recording other people’s embarrassment for other people’s amusement.

Seeing through someone else’s eyes

The most important thing, in my view, is that at last we get the chance to see the world as others see it. Which could be a great leveller. And educational. And enlightening.

For example, you could see what it is like to be seen as:

old, young, rich, poor, black, white, gay, straight, Muslim, Jewish, sick, large, small, disabled, apparently physically unattractive – or any kind of social leper

and think about the way you treat other people who are a little different.

I also believe that no matter what I, or others, say about the world of cruising, you really do need to experience a sea cruise for yourself. And share your impressions with the rest of us.

So send me an email about your cruise holiday.

Magic time

Some day soon, when I lay my hands on a pair of Jaymie’s magic glasses, I’ll show you that seeing is believing.

Until then, you’ll just have to take my word for it.

By the way, did you hear of the yachtsman who told the captain that when he steered his boat on sunny days he got the sun in his eyes.

‘Did you see a doctor?’ said the captain.

‘No,’ said the yachtsman, ‘just spots.’

James Leavey

Posted in Humour