When you’re cruising, people ask you all kinds of questions. Things like, ‘Where are you from?’ and ‘Have you cruised before?’
These are pretty much what you’d expect and easy to answer. But ladies, how do you respond to an unexpected question like, ‘Will you marry me?’ Indeed how should you react when all eyes are on you and there’s a camera rolling to capture the whole incident?
More and more people, it seems, are discovering that a cruise ship is a great place to publicly ambush the one you love, with a surprise proposal. But pulling a stunt like this mid ocean is not without its risks.
Golden rule
What if the answer is ‘no’? The two of you could be trapped together for days, when you’d both rather be somewhere else. The atmosphere in that cabin could become awkward, to say the least.
If it all goes wrong there’s no point in wishing the ground beneath your feet would open, because you’ll only fall through to the next deck.
Which brings me to my first golden rule of marriage proposals on cruises. If you’re thinking of doing it in public, don’t go ahead unless you’re certain the answer will be the one you want to hear.
A negative answer is just too painful for all concerned.
Get it right
In these enlightened times, of course, there’s no reason why the question has to be asked by the guy, or why the couple taking part can’t be of the same sex.
Whatever combination of partners is involved the principles remain the same. Both participants have vital roles and it’s important each person gets it right.
If you’re the one doing the asking, you need to plan carefully and, if possible, do a rehearsal to identify any weaknesses in your plan.
Remember, when the moment arrives you’re likely to be nervous and twitchy. You don’t want this life changing event to be marred by a pratfall or by you accidentally dropping the ring into the Aegean.
Popping the question in public
But what about the person being asked? It’s not easy for them, either.
If the question is popped in a public place and you’re on the receiving end, everyone will be watching for your reaction. A low key “I suppose so,” won’t be enough.
What your fellow cruisers want from you is thermonuclear emoting, accompanied by Richter scale theatrics.
Anything less will be greeted with comments like, “not much enthusiasm there,” or “I’ve got AA batteries that will outlast that relationship.”
So here’s my next golden rule. If you’re asked for your hand in marriage on a cruise and decide to say “yes”, make like the Simpsons. Be animated.
Once in a lifetime
I’m assuming you want a record of the big moment. So let’s not forget the third player in this – the person operating the camera.
If that role falls to you, there are a few things you need to bear in mind.
This is a once in a lifetime event for the couple. It will be watched by generations to come. Don’t wreck it with camera shake at the critical moment or by choosing a location with poor lighting and bad acoustics.
Take some test footage the day before, if necessary using stand-ins. On the day itself, just be sure you’re in the right position at the right time.
Real life cruise proposals
If I’ve failed to put you off and you’re still keen to surprise your other half next time you cruise, you might want to look at some real life proposals at sea. Maybe you can pick up a few tips.
One possibility, favoured by many, is to ask the Cruise Director if you can make your announcement during one of the shows, with the help of the compère.
This was the method adopted by Patrick when he proposed to Brittany last November. Everything went well, except that at one point it did look as if she was having a mini heart attack.
Ship restaurant
If getting up on stage seems a bit too much, you might want to relocate the proposal to one of the ship’s restaurants instead.
That’s where Josh proposed to Brooke in October 2010. Before the event he also did an opening piece to camera, but if you do that, make sure there’s no possibility of her walking in on you in the middle.
Incurable romantics will love this next clip, with its slushy soundtrack and Josh as the nervous groom-to-be. Hardened cynics, however, should keep well away.
Double surprise
But my favourite of them all has to be this approach. Don’t even let your partner know you’re on the ship. So there’s a double surprise in store.
That’s what Dewayne Bontrager did when he waylaid Samantha Colosi on a cruise in 2000. Samantha had no idea Dewayne was anywhere in the vicinity, when her mother told her to come out on deck and meet the captain.
When she realises the captain is her boyfriend in disguise, she goes into an emotional meltdown, which is worrying. If that’s how she reacts to the first shock, how’s she going to handle the even bigger one that’s coming up.
This is worth watching.
Valentine’s day
If I’ve inspired you into action, what should you do next? Well with Valentine’s day just around the corner, there’s still time to book you and your intended on a romantic late cruise.
If you make that booking and you’re planning to pop the question, don’t forget to video what happens and send us the link.
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