Last Sunday morning I was a guest on Outlaw Radio, a funny fast-paced irreverent American talk show which goes on for hours, rather like me after I’ve warmed up.

I’m not known as Radio Leavey for nothing. Some say if I had a brother it would be like listening in stereo.

Outlaw Radio is broadcast live from the Lighten Up Lounge in the hills of Encino, California, at 3pm every Saturday to about 26 million homes across America.

The host is also the show’s brainchild, Magic Matt Alan AKA Mr Cigar, who is usually accompanied by his talented interrupting Demons of Decadence.

The D’s of D’s on this occasion included Whose Line Is It Anyway?’s Ryan Stiles – the Seattle, Washington-born rubber-boned improvisational comedy genius, ex-Chicago drummer Danny Seraphine (brilliant!), and Angel of the Airwaves Lori Downey Jr (Mmm!).

Former guests include ZZ Top, Dom Deluise, Meatloaf, Rudy Guiliani, Greg Proops and Milton Berle.

So there they all were in Matt’s backyard, which resembles an 1876 Virginia City Nevada-style bar, sitting round the pool, smoking fine cigars, guzzling gigantic martinis and shooting down the breeze, the latest ins-and-outs of David Letterman, and anything else that wandered by.

And there was me, eight hours ahead of them (1am, UK time) in my house in Cowes, smoking a San Cristobal Cuban corona and sipping a glass of 12-year-old Macallan – I’d run out of the usual Glen Rothes – half asleep and wondering if I was having a strange dream.

Later that morning, when I recovered and managed to actually stand up I realised why I had enjoyed the experience so much: it was reminiscent of chilling out with a group of like-minded strangers, on a cruise ship.

One of the reasons why Matt’s show has lasted and prospered since it first started broadcasting as Lighten Up in 1996 on the day George Burns passed away (Matt changed it to its present title in 2000) is that he and his guests celebrate all the things of life that make it bearable. Plus it gets up the noses of born-again puritans and makes the rest of us feel we are part of the Hole-in-the-Wall gang.

You can tune into the show every week on the Net if you like. But if you feel you are unlikely to ever actually physically join Matt and his Ds of Ds in Encino (the mind boggles) I recommend booking yourself a cruise holiday.

Find a suitable bar, order your favourite tipple, and – Hey Presto! – just like Magic Matt you will be joined by a bevy of new friends.

Then all you’ve got to do is find a way of broadcasting it back to the rest of us on land, and we’ll come and join you.

Of course a bar is not the only place to meet new people on a cruise ship (although it’s undoubtedly the easiest).

I’ve made new friends above deck, below deck, at breakfast, lunch and dinner, in the spa, out of the spa, even in the elevator! My favorite place, however, has to be while leaning over my balcony enjoying the sea air when, unexpectedly, a likeminded neighbour comes out to do the same.

Talking of outlaws, did you hear about the lonely outlaw who only robbed banks so he’d feel wanted?

Or the outlaw who was riding along and got thrown off his horse?

The horse promptly dragged him to some shade under a tree, against which he propped up the rider and galloped off to town for help.

An hour later, several people rode up including a medical man.

A few weeks later the outlaw joined some friends for a drink and told them the story of how he had been saved by his horse.

“He must be the smartest horse in the world,” one of the friends said. “Even better than Champion the Wonder Horse, the Lone Ranger’s Silver and all the rest, By Jiminy!”

The outlaw looked at him and scratched his head, “He’s ain’t so smart. He came back with a vet.”

Any excuse to post this excellent clip. 1, 2, 3 go…

James Leavey

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