The Hoboken Cruise Company, run by a cockamamie boss-eyed Chairman of the Board who is no relation to the late great Frank Sinatra, have asked me to be frank.

And Frank.

But not Dean or Sammy.

Passengers In The Night, exchanging glances

As Frankie-Wankie used to say at the Rat Pack Summits in Las Vegas, ‘We just wanna have a little fun, folks.’

But what he would have thought of all those theme cruises featuring new versions of The Rat Pack, I hate to think.

Would he think it’s ‘My Kind of Cruise’?

Or enjoy twilight on-board meetings of ‘Strangers In The Night’?

Perhaps Frank would consider such tribute acts as ‘Something Stupid’.

Or maybe he’d rather ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ than ‘Cruise Me to a Tune’?

Cruise Me To The Moon, with Virgin

Whatever.

Meanwhile, I’ve noted that request from the Hoboken Line – which I had to tell them is physically impossible.

And now, as my end is near, I wanna be Frank wid you (and the Man himself would say) and give you my version of a cruise ship karaoke classic:

(I Cruised It) My Way

And now the cruise end is near
And so I face final disembarkation
My maties I’ll say this clear
I’ll pack my case with what I’m certain

I’ve sailed a ship that’s full
I splashed out each and every seaway
And more, much more than this
I cruised it my way

Regrets I’ve had a few
But then again too few to mention
I booked what I had to do
And sailed it through – all on a pension

I plotted each charted course
Each careful splash along the seaway
And more, much more than this
I cruised it my way

Yes there were trips I’m sure you knew
When I washed off more than the crew
But through it all in the redoubt
I drank it up and poured it out, I tasted all
And I sailed it tall and cruised it my way

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my cruise, my share of boozing
And now as waves subside
The navigator finds it so amusing

To think I sailed all of that
And may I say not in high way
Oh no, oh no not me
I cruised it my way

For what is a passenger what has he got
If not himself then he sails not
To see those things and eat those meals
And watch the fish beneath the keels
The ship’s log shows I sailed the blows
And cruised it my way

Yes I cruised it my way

James Leavey

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Posted in Humour