Managers – God love ‘em – they’ve got a tough job. It must be stressful working those long hours while having to use all that complicated management speak.
So here’s what I suggest. Going forward, they should take themselves out of the loop and seek opportunities to restore their work-life balance within a framework of international maritime travel. Or, as the rest of us might say, they should go on a cruise.
If you’re a manager, I strongly recommend you don’t kick this idea into the long grass, but rather you get all your ducks in a row, bite the bullet and go for it.
Mission critical
Think of it as just another project.
Naturally there’ll be mission critical issues to consider. Things like resourcing – do you take two or three suitcases? And direction setting – should you head east or west?
Then there’s that whole matter of external focus and transparency. My tip would be to get yourself an outside cabin with a clean window.
Adapting is easy
The good news is that adapting to a holiday at sea should be relatively easy for you.
For example, if you’re one of those ‘big picture’ managers, you won’t be disappointed with life on board. Hanging on the walls all around your ship you’ll find lots of pictures and some of them will be really big.
If you’re the sort of manager who gets involved in negotiations, you’re probably used to asking everyone “what can you bring to the table?”
Well on a cruise ship you’ll find people who are totally comfortable with that kind of question. They’re known as waiters.
Meal times
I have more good news. You won’t have to waste time looking for the low hanging fruit.
Everything you need for your ‘five a day’ can be conveniently accessed from the fruit bowl in any restaurant. Or failing that why not treat yourself to a fresh fruit salad?
And if you ever feel the need to “take things to the next level” just go up one deck and lie down. You’ll feel much better for it.
But let’s be honest, not all management concepts lend themselves to ocean travel.
Dangerous talk
If you’re one of those ‘hands on’ managers, or someone who describes their management style as ‘bottom up’, you’re probably better off keeping that kind of talk to yourself.
Of course we all know you like to drill down. But not on a cruise ship please. Drilling anywhere can have all sorts of health and safety implications.
And please, if you meet some interesting fellow passengers, don’t start engaging with them. For goodness’ sake just chat to them like people did in the old days and everything will be fine.
Unwind and unburden yourself
There’s no question, going on a cruise is a great chance for you to unwind and unburden yourself from the stresses of executive life.
At the same time why not release yourself from the pressure of having to use all those ridiculous words top management seem addicted to. Words like leveraging, granularity, methodologies, operationalisation and stakeholder engagement, not to mention, “where’s the biscuits?”
Foreign ports
I’ve always maintained when you cruise to foreign ports it can be helpful – though not essential – to know another language. Managers of course already speak another language, but sadly it’s not one many of us can understand.
So if you’re a manager, my advice is simple.
Forget French, Spanish, Chinese or Russian. If you’re having difficulty communicating with your fellow cruisers, maybe it’s time to switch to plain English.
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