For some people, checking the late cruise deals may seem a pointless exercise.

If you’re committed to taking holidays at a specific time of year or need plenty of advance warning before making a booking, these deals are probably unsuitable for you.

But don’t dismiss them out of hand. At some point in the future – maybe sooner than you think – an unexpected window could open in your schedule allowing you to book a last minute cruise. If that happened, it would be a pity to miss out, because you were ill prepared.

Saving money

Firstly, it would be sad because you’d be denied the enormous buzz that comes from setting off on an impulse holiday. Secondly, you’d be passing up a great money-saving opportunity, which in these challenging economic times would be unfortunate.

So, if you want to take advantage of these late cruise deals, you have to be ready well in advance. As my old Gran used to say: “Being spontaneous takes a lot of preparation.”

Of course some of the things you need to do are obvious. You must ensure your passport is up-to-date and you always have some serviceable suitcases to hand. Also available should be a versatile range of clothes that you’re happy to be seen alive in.

Clock ticking against you

But there’s more to it than that. In these modern times when so many of us lead busy and complicated lives it can be easy to overlook a vital matter or two, especially when the clock is ticking against you.

Bear in mind, with some of these last minute offers you may be able to book a cabin as late as one day before you sail. With narrow timeframes like that to operate in, you’ve little margin for error.

That means you’re going to have to pack a lot of activity into those final hours before you depart for the airport or harbour.

Palpitations

With this in mind I’ve prepared a 10-point checklist for those who have suddenly spotted a holiday opportunity among the late cruise deals and are now frantically getting ready to leave. These are the things you need to check which could be so easy to overlook.

When you’re sunbathing on deck 1,000 miles from home, you don’t want to be suffering palpitations over the fact that you forgot to switch off the patio heaters or your electric toothpick.

Not everything in my list may seem relevant to your lifestyle. But I hope it might set you thinking about the kind of precautionary measures you need to take, before you embark on your 11th hour cruise.

Bruce’s late cruise deals user checklist

1. Let the barman at your local pub know you won’t be coming in for a while. You don’t want him alerting the emergency services that he hasn’t seen you for 12 hours, forcing the police to come round and break down your house door.
2. Remember, many people could be inconvenienced by your sudden departure if you haven’t alerted them beforehand. Be sure to cancel home visits booked with your manicurist, dietician, astrologer, numerologist, yoga instructor, personal exorcist, spiritual re-alignment counsellor, stress management guru and the like.
3. It’s easy to forget, but who is going to look after Gandhi the Goldfish while you’re gone. Make sure you arrange for him to be temporarily rehomed and his full medical history is up to date and accessible in case of emergency.
4. Remember to cancel your evening classes in bassoon, Sanskrit and karmic empowerment. And double check that the local college has someone to replace you as life model in their art classes.
5. Find someone to take over the nightly shift you do for the local mountain rescue and lifeboat service, as well as for your role as out-of-hours neurosurgeon. After all, everyone needs a break, so why shouldn’t you enjoy the benefits of one of Virgin’s late cruise deals.
6. Check that the oil well you’ve been drilling in your basement is properly capped while you’re away and that the drilling equipment is switched off and there are no naked flames on the premises.
7. If your partner runs one of the UK’s early warning stations, make sure there’s someone covering for them while you are both away. It would be horrible to think the country was vulnerable to nuclear attack just because you chose to go on a late cruise.
8. Be extra careful with those genetic engineering experiments you’ve been conducting in your back garden involving the cloning of large creatures from the Jurassic era. Check all fencing is secure and that all sauropods are electronically tagged in case they break loose.
9. Be sure someone is keeping an eye on those weird plants that have started growing rapidly in your vegetable patch since that meteorite landed last week. Give your neighbours contact numbers for the army and SAS.
10. Don’t forget to cancel the milk.

One thing is certain. After doing all this stuff, you’re surely going to need a holiday. Check out your options now in the late cruise deals section.

Bruce Beckett

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