They say as men grow older, their bodies get shorter and their anecdotes longer.
Talking of which, I used to be 6 foot 2 inches. Now I resemble a white-bearded Tom Thumb. It’s probably because I’m a 60-something-still-alive-and-writing-weird-blogs such as this.
There’s a lot of it about – the 60-somethings, anyway. According to recent estimates by the United Nations, the number of people of 65 and over is expected to more than double, globally, to around 1.5 billion by 2050.
The grays take over the planet
The U.N. didn’t actually explain who would be caring for all those ageing humans, who will soon outnumber children under 5 for the first time. I just hope the next generation lives as long as we have.
If they do, they’ll find out that growing older has one advantage: you’ll never have to go through it again.
For many of my fellow baby boomers, ageing is the process of growing old, a process hastened mostly by their endless struggle to stay young.
Which is why a lot of them are now taking cruises that appear to be designed for young children.
Cruise lines have long known that the world’s exploding population of over 65s is a huge business opportunity. Unfortunately, cruises are still tarnished with the images of well-heeled geriatrics zimmer-framing it around the decks of ships, trying to grab that last piece of the sunlight before they bodies turn into atoms and join the celestial flares.
There’s also too often a lack of empathy between the over 65 generation and the under 20s, who tend to think they’ll live forever and that anyone over 21 is middle-aged and past it.
You’re only old once
Fortunately some people are doing their best to bring the two sides of the coin (very young/very old) to a better understanding, as witnessed by an excellent BBCTV programme, When Teenage Meets Old age, that was broadcast earlier this week.
Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s AgeLab has also been hard at work creating a simpatico research program called Age Gain Now Empathy System, known to some us as dear old Auntie AGNES.
One day you may even see them testing the AGNES jumpsuit on a cruise ship.
Look out for those tell-tale signs: a passenger wearing a navy blue jumpsuit with yellow stripes down the sides of the arms and legs, topped with a white helmet and yellow half face visor, which is attached by cords to a pelvic harness. The compression knee pads encourage shuffling and the dark plastic shoes with uneven pads for soles throw off the wearer’s centre of gravity so that they look like me after a night out with the lads, 50 years too late.
Several layers of surgical gloves on each hand emulate the problems older people have with their arthritic joints and limbs.
I could have saved MIT a fortune. They should have sent a researcher to join me and my aged cronies when we whoop it up at the monthly whist drive on the Isle of White.
But getting back to older people and cruise ships, the fact is that the cruise market has changed in recent years, partly because of the huge proliferation of new cruise ships and itineraries, and the lowering of prices that encourage passengers of all ages to try a holiday at sea.
Personally, I dislike cruise ghettos, such as cruises targeted at the very young, very old, families (but all too rarely, singles or disabled travellers, alas). I think it’s healthier to put everybody from everywhere on the same ship and let them get on with it.
Most older people don’t really want to be on a ship (or even in a room) with other people their same age – it reminds them of their advancing (decreasing?) years.
And a lot of young people desperately want to be taken seriously and be seen as young adults.
Maybe they should have new cruises for the gray (American spelling, the English version is ‘grey’) and the young and call them Groung Cruises.
What everybody needs to realise is that growing old isn’t so bad, considering the alternative.
As Woody Allen once said, when he was a much younger man, ‘It’s not that I’m afraid of dying. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.’
Related posts:
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4 Comments
Feb 27 2011
20:31
It’s a relief to know that home movies, now phone videos, haven’t improved. But delightful to hear Sophie Tucker, a sort of white Bessie Smith singing, ‘Some of These Days’”
My Scottish grandmother had a picture of herself meeting Sophie at the Tivoli Theatre, Sydney circa 1960.
Mar 02 2011
10:59
With age comes wisdom. With wisdom comes understanding. With understanding comes growth. With growth comes change. With change comes opportunity. Wih opportunity comes success. With success comes profit. With profit comes tax. With tax that comes to £19.97. I accept credit cards, BACS payments or cheques.
Apr 01 2011
19:37
We love you ole crusties-the world would be a sadder place without you!
Apr 16 2011
4:54
Great memory, James K – I’m a fan of Sophie Tucker too. Milton, good luck! Tru, I’m told either I’m an ole crustie or slowly turning into one – I have great trouble getting my zimmer frame close to the desk on which my PC sits, so the guide dog has to write these blogs, for my eyesight isn’t what it was. Then there’s the trembles (knees, if the wife is breathing and feeling frisky) and hands (decades of drink). The legs and back have long gone, tigether with what’s left of my hair and teeth. Sometimes the carer comes in and pours me a slug of that green stuff that gets my bowels moving. Virgin Holidays Cruises have been so kind, they’re sponsoring me as part of their Help the Aged Sad Ole Writers commitment. If only somebody would come round to take me out for a day in the park, or a Caribbean cruise – ah well, you can’t have everything. Therre’s a lot worse out there than me…wish they’d make themselves known….