According to one of the UK’s biggest supermarkets who recently surveyed 2,000 British tourists, these are the top twenty pet peeves by British holidaymakers:
1. Not having my own bed - Not a problem on any cruise ship. Sharing a cabin, if you’re single, is more likely to annoy some people, but it often depends on who they are sharing it with. What single cruise passengers really don’t like, I believe, is paying the full price for accommodation designed for two people. Fortunately, single cabins are sometimes available. What we need is more of them.
2. Seems like you’re forever travelling – Well, you usually are forever travelling, on a cruise ship, but in style and comfort with nice breaks at the stopover ports.
3. Not being able to drink water straight from the tap – There’s lots of good drinking water on cruise ships, and alcoholic stuff to dilute it.
4. Competing for the sun-loungers – Less of a problem on a cruise. It’s not so much the sun-loungers as holding on to your favourite place on deck. The trick, as always, is to get there early.
5. A decent cup of tea – This doesn’t apply to any British cruise lines but some non-UK cruise lines have strange ideas of what a cuppa consists of. Do what the rest of us tea-hounds do – bring your own tea bags.
6. No internet – Most cruise ships have internet access, for a price. If you’re near or on land, you can usually get online with your own i-phone or laptop, much cheaper.
7. Not always having a car – You don’t see many four-wheeled vehicles on a ship. But if you are spending a decent amount of time in a stopover port you can always hire a car for the day. Short visits – stick to an official taxi or bus.
8. Bumping into other Brits – If you take a cruise that doesn’t actually start from a UK port then this significantly lessens the chances of meeting your fellow Brits abroad. But we Brits do get everywhere so you’re bound to fall over us (literally, in some cases) sooner or later.
If you’re picky, pick a cruise
9. Decent shower or my own bathtub – Most cabins come with their own showers, and many also have bathtubs too.
10. Normal milk – From a British point of view, but what’s normal? Milk can vary a little from one cruise line to another but it’s usually all white and drinkable.
11. Not having my own kitchen – What do you need a kitchen for on a ship that serves good food all day long, for free, for you to pick and choose? There’s also room service.
12. Missing pets – I miss my cats when I’m away but they’d only get seasick, lost, or fall overboard.
13. Wasting money on unnecessary items – If by this you mean paying for extras that you weren’t warned about, this is unlikely to happen on a cruise. You get the cruise, food, accommodation etc free. The extra stuff you do need to pay extra for (gambling, on-board shops, booze etc) is usually listed so you can decide if you want it, or not. As for spending money on all sorts of junk you’d never even consider if you were at home – get real. You can do this just about anywhere. Try resisting temptation, you incorrigible spendthrift!
Sea, here – you’re on holiday
14. Cost of phoning home – Yes, this can be very expensive from a ship in the middle of the ocean, but you’ve got a cellphone, surely, and maybe you could restrict such comms to absolute emergencies and enjoy a break from all that twittering and chat.
15. Missing my family – Simple. Take them with you on the cruise…where everybody gets to do their own thing during the day and you meet up for meals. Plus you’re all pampered and get to see the world.
16. ‘Weird’ food – If you can’t find something nice to eat on a cruise ship then you really aren’t looking. As for the stuff you’re not sure about, you can leave it, you know. If you have a dietary requirement just tell the steward.
17. It’s so hot – Most 21st century cruise ships have air conditioning, inside. If you want to bake on deck, that’s up to you and the sun cream.
18. Understanding a foreign language – English is usually the lingua franca of cruise ships. The crew also speak many other languages. Many ships also run language courses for passengers.
19. Working out foreign currency – They’ve got people on board to help you on a cruise ship, and there’s lots of time before you hit the next port.
20. Not having my daily routine – What on earth does that mean? If you want a boring routine, stay at home. There are also routines (eating, playing, making friends, sunbathing, reading, enjoying the sights and sounds etc) on cruise ships. It’s up to you to decide what suits you best.
By the way, judging from this list, the Brits surveyed weren’t passengers on a cruise ship. If you are and have your own list of cruise-related peeves, let me know.
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