If, like the late Lord Beaverbrook, you believe that anything which cannot be put into two sentences is not worth attending to, I’ll keep this simple.
Part Two. But not for you
I thought you loathed the very idea of sea cruises and whimsical blogs like this?
Plus you’re easily bored and have a very short attention span.
Have I twisted your arm?
Am I holding a gun to your head?
Did anybody invite you to read this rubbish?
So go away.
Part Three. And this is me
I wish you’d stop following me around.
I’ve been told that people either really love my blogs, or really hate them.
If you’re one of the latter, why are you bothering?
I’ve got lots of friends who read me every week. Well, at least two.
I don’t encourage casual acquaintances.
So go and take a fly/drive holiday.
Or a week in the country.
I won’t mind.
Part Four. Please leave by the door
Still with me?
Part Five. Saints alive!