Cruisologically Speaking

Cruisologically Speaking

If you were around in the 1980s, you probably remember a TV ad starring Maureen Lipman that highlighted the importance of an ology.

Well I think it’s time we created a new one.

A glance down any A to Z of ologies reveals there’s a gaping hole between criminology and crustaceology. So how better to fill it than with cruisology – a branch of learning dedicated to my favourite global industry.

Major Universities

If they haven’t done so already, one of the major universities should seriously consider launching a degree course in this up-and-coming field.

It’s a subject touching every aspect of our existence on this planet. From sport and leisure to international relations, from romance and adventure to fuel efficiency, from food and drink to satellite communications.

A degree in cruisology could prepare you for a career in travel, entertainment or catering and hospitality, as well as equip you with skills in marketing, communications and people management. Indeed a degree of this kind would be relevant to almost every form of human endeavour.

Formidable Textbook

Who can doubt that future generations of students would benefit from being taught the science and history of cruising, not to mention the economics, psychology and philosophy of the subject.

And the field trips would be interesting as well.

Guest lecturers would more than likely include cruise experts such as my colleagues: Monday blogger, Phil Davies, and Friday’s James Leavey.

Between them they’d cut through all the fancy theories and go straight to the practical issues that affect both suppliers and consumers of cruise holidays. What’s more, their collected blogs would make formidable textbooks, giving any would-be cruisologist deep insights into the industry.

And if those future students were struggling with the vocabulary of the subject, that could easily be fixed. All they’d have to do is consult our handy Cruise Jargon Buster.

Impractical

But what if you lack the money to finance a spell at university? For many UK students this can amount to a staggering £25,000 or more.

And what if you want to learn about cruising right now and can’t wait for that new degree course to be launched?

Thankfully, all is not lost. You can still become a pretty clued up cruisologist by attending a different kind of academic centre.

You’ll find the fees at this alternative place of learning a lot lower, while the time it takes to graduate will be considerably reduced. And it will probably be a lot more fun as well.

I just know you’re ahead of me.

Unlimited Range

Welcome to the Open Seas University. The number one centre for studying the world of cruising. And this website is the only prospectus you’ll ever need.

You’ll find an almost unlimited range of courses on offer here for students of every age and ability. Sign up to one of these and you’ll really be going places.

Forget three year courses. At this university you’ll be able to pack all your learning into a much smaller window. This will vary from course to course but in some cases could be even shorter than your average Freshers’ Week.

Best of all you’ll discover that the admissions policy is wonderfully lax. No one will demand you attend an interview or ask to see your exam certificates.

So what are you waiting for? Why not take a look at some of the tempting cruises – sorry, I mean courses – on offer?

Alternatively, you might like to look for a course using the cruising world’s equivalent of the university clearing system. Also known as Last Minute Cruise Deals.

Bruce Beckett

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Posted in Advice

28 Oct 2009

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