Great news if you’re a fan of stylish, old-fashioned, luxurious liners.
In October 2010, Cunard plans to launch a brand new £365 million Queen Elizabeth that will take its 2,092 passengers back to the halcyon days of the 1930s and 1940s.
The ship’s nostalgic features will include a London West End-style theatre with private boxes, a games deck with a bowls green and croquet lawn, and a 4,000 square feet shopping arcade.
Its ambience will be styled on traditional English country house parties – which will be held under the glass roof of the very British liner’s garden lounge.
There will be glamorous evening balls, dance marathons and classic films from the golden age of cruising all designed to create a unique atmosphere. The QE3s bemused passengers will no doubt imagine they have joined the cast of a pre-WW2 play written by Noel Coward, W Somerset Maugham and Agatha Christie.
By all accounts, it should all go swimmingly, so now’s the time to pack your striped blazer, boater (and swish evening dress, if you’re a lady, or Eddie Izzard) and join the queue for tickets for the maiden voyage.
The QE3 is bound to do well for a cruise ship that harks back to the inter-war years fits in with what most people buy into when they book a cruise: the romantic image of a time when the world wasn’t desperately worried about global recession (well, until the advent of WW2, anyway).
Of all the statistics Cunard have released in advance of the QE3′s launch, the one that stands out, for me anyway (I blame it on too much caffeine) is the fact that they anticipate 141,600 toothpicks will be used each year.
I suppose this will help keep the passengers’ dental bills down.
Which reminds me of a bridge that was put in for a friend of mine. When he saw the bill he said it cost more than the bridge they built over the River Kwai.
Then he made the mistake of asking that same dentist to put in a crown, which cost slightly more than the one worn at Britain’s Coronation Ceremonies and is currently under lock and key in the Tower of London.
Back to toothpicks, I wonder if perhaps the QE3′s passengers could be requested to place their used toothpicks into a receptacle that could then be taken away and and its contents thoroughly disinfected.
The crew could then hand out the reconditioned toothpicks with tubes of glue to willing passengers who have tired of Shuffleboard, Mahjong, Bridge, Canasta and water polo. And maybe those jaded passengers could use the cleaned toothpicks to construct working waterproof models of the QE3 – and sell tickets to wayward children, who could take a brief cruise in the ship’s swimming pool, or shark-infested sea.
Meanwhile, if you can afford the £15,799 ticket for the QE3s maiden voyage to the Canaries, then you’ve probably had some gold teeth fitted.
If so, as my dentist once said to me, “Don’t chew on that side. Don’t eat hard candy. And don’t smile at a mugger.”
James Leavey
Image from Wikimedia Commons
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- Cruising is fit for a Queen There was only ever going to be one VVVIP...
6 Comments
Mar 20 2009
18:08
There’s nothing new about this. I’ve been to several productions at my local theatre where the cast were all at sea.
Mar 20 2009
18:21
Having read these informative articles, I found the prospect of a ‘cruise’ far more interesting and appealing than before.
I must say, the dedication and the quality of the staff, and the featured elements, have certainly given me cause to look deeper into this form of taking a break.
Mar 20 2009
20:54
Delighted!
Question – Will the new QE have the usual section for third-class passengers, you know, the Irish and those types. Wouldn’t be quite so nostalgic not having them below. Thank you for this wonderful blog. The wife and I do so enjoy it. P.
Mar 21 2009
11:39
i’ve got to say that I love reading your comments, you guys crack me up
Thanks for the possitive feedback Graham I’ll be sure to it pass on.
Mar 22 2009
17:12
As far as I know the QE3 won’t have the selection of poorer passengers, known in the old days as ‘steerage’. But, like everywhere else, money talks and there will be first class staterooms etc. At least these days everybody gets to enjoy the facilities and even someone who has booked an inner cabin, i.e. one without a porthole, will be allowed up on deck to mingle with the great and the good. And once you’re up there you’re as good as the rest of them. Of course the easiest way to become poor is to pretend you’re rich. I’ve never bothered trying to impress wealthy people, and the only way they could impress me is by giving me some of their money. That said, I’ve met some very nice and decent billionaires – but’s it’s not their fault they’re loaded so I never hold it against them.
Mar 23 2009
12:18
oh it all sounds wonderful-how i’d love to go -but so expensive-trudy