The ship’s cat has been a common sight for centuries, but now seems to be limited to fictional felines.
I think it’s time cats were re-adopted on every cruise ship. Of course these days a cat is no longer needed to keep a ship’s rodent problem in check, for, hopefully, rats and mice are no longer allowed to sign on, quietly via a stray rope dangling over the side of the hull or an unguarded gangplank.
But if you’re a cat lover, imagine a friendly moggy basking on the deck during your cruise, or stalking seagulls.
I’d love to meet a cat sitting on a plumped up cushion on the chair next to the cruise ship’s captain, while he regales his guests with stories of piratical pussies over dinner.
Years ago when I worked for the Post Office as a journalist I interviewed the postal headquarter’s official cat, which worked in the basement of a building near St Paul’s in London, earned five shillings a week and all the mice it could eat and stop nibbling the mailbags. The postmen used to spoil it, and it seemed almost as large as a Shetland pony.
Knowing my interest in cruise ships, my two-year-old cat, Lottie, could no doubt be pressed into service, provided she is properly housed, fed and watered – the same goes for her proud owners, who obviously have to accompany her for the journey.
Lottie was a stray, found pregnant in Bournemouth by the Cats Protection League and transferred to the Isle of Wight – where she decided my wife and I would be acceptable as a pair of doting owners.
She feels right at home in Cowes, where fog horns occasionally disturb her usual 18 hours of sleep, the smell of the sea is in the air, and sea birds avoid our cat-ridden garden like the plague.
Having given birth to five kittens and been spayed by CPL to prevent similar mishaps, Lottie seems perfectly happy and ignores the local tomcats – most of whom have been ‘fixed’ by the vet.
I asked one neighbour if her recently emasculated tomcat now spends all of its time hanging around the house, eating, sleeping, and no longer dreaming of furry girlfriends.
“He stills goes out every night,” she said, “but now he’s a consultant.”
Lottie explained to me the other day (all cats talk to their owners…) how her ferry sailed past several cruise ships on the Solent, which put into her dainty head the idea of signing up for a life of sea-roving. It’s amazing what you can learn from a single “meow”, especially when you’ve been at the Naval rum.
Not that everyone loves cats. I met a man who offered a ten thousand pounds reward for the return of his wife’s favourite pussy.
“That’s a huge reward for the return of a pet,” I told him.
The man looked at me and winked, “Not after I drowned it.”
Actually I made that bit up for everyone knows a cat has nine lives. But that’s nothing to a bullfrog, which croaks every night, especially if you keep its head under water for thirty minutes.
Seriously, I’ve met several people who keep cats on their yachts, and everything seems to go swimmingly, except the cat, which usually clings to the sail or the inside of the cabin.
If you know of any cruise ship today that is home to a cat, I’d be delighted to hear about it.
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10 Comments
May 01 2009
8:45
Very entertaining. I am a former feline companion and servant. Just love ‘em init.
Nice to know that I am not the only ‘navy’ rum fan. Lambs rum is also of a unique quality that cannot be imitated.
Keep on tapping James.
May 01 2009
8:48
My cat had an operation to remove his nose. I asked the vet how will he smell and he said same as now, pretty disgusting.
May 01 2009
10:25
Have you been to Egypt there’s cockroaches the size of cats climbing the ropes there!! Lottie looks lovely!!
May 01 2009
13:03
Written by a cat smitten owner, great, keep writing James.
Linda.
May 01 2009
13:19
Now there’s a phrase to conjure with – “piratical pussies” – I think I’ve occasioned to encounter one or two in my time – can’t really remember now at my age but something rings a faint bell
May 01 2009
15:58
Trudy,
I haven’t been to Egypt yet but I have heard the stories. About 13 years ago during my first trip to Havana I was dancing around midnight, as you do, on a wooden galleon which was moored just olf Havana and munching various snacks as I floated around the deck – to the sound of crunching. A couple of hours later I realised we had all been dancing on cockroaches which infested the deck and all the food. Fortunately the Cuban rum we inhaled kept the collywobbles at bay. That said, we sobered up almost immediately.
May 01 2009
16:54
By the way, don’t know if anybody noticed the aerial growing out of Lottie’s head – as you can probably tell she’s a Cat from Outer Space, i.e. out of Cowes…
May 03 2009
19:05
Hear, hear ! Quite so. I’m sure most cruise passengers are also cat lovers. Every cat deserves a cruise and if that seems too extravagant, then every cruise ship should definitely adopt a cat or two …or three!
May 04 2009
19:34
Cats Ahoy…. Great title!
I think cruise ships should have cats and dogs in residence. The elderly and kids especially would love it. Hotels should have them too, and yes every post office.
There used to be a used bookstore near here that had 3 and I admit it, I did stop in more to see the cats than the books and always ended up buying something.
May 05 2009
9:12
If I had my way I’d turn cruise ships into arks and floating zoos. Until that unlikely eventuality happens cats should be encouraged to rule the seas from ocean-going liners and other vessels. Talking about landlubber cats that work for a living, when I used to live in London’s Fitzrovia a couple of decades ago, several restaurants in Charlotte Street were homes to spoiled cats that greeted the patrons and polished off the leftovers. Late at night, when the diners were long gone the restaurant cats (aided by the adcats from Scraatchi & Scraatchi) used to scrap with the wild cats of Fitzroy Square up the road, which were fed by a very nice elderly woman. I have also worked for several second-hand and new bookshops which are the perfect home for cats – you can dust books with a kitten, or use a moggy’s tail as a bookmark