For many years I have been feasting in the footsteps of great writers in the forlorn hope that some of their genius would rub off on my bank account.
For most lonesome scribblers like me, locked in the attic of their imagination, dream of escape and grab grub at every opportunity.
Take C.S. Lewis, creator of the Chronicles of Narnia, who also wrote in a letter, ‘He that but looketh on a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it, hath already committed breakfast in his heart.’
Unless he that looketh is Jewish, a Muslim, or a vegetarian.
Food from morning to night
Whatever your dietary requirements, they’ll be well looked after on most cruise ships where you can stuff your face from morning to night.
But, for me, the best meal of the day is breakfast, especially that first morning on your first cruise.
If you’re an early riser or haven’t yet got to bed for the excitement of being at sea, hot tea or coffee is usually served on deck from around 6am.
Or you can spend more time in bed and wait for the Full Monty breakfast which usually comprises up to 60 different items and is served from 6.30am to 8.30am in the ship’s main dining room.
Grazing
Help-yourself grazers like me tend to head to the buffet-style area in the indoor/outdoor deck cafe.
I may not eat everything in sight but I like to take a close gander at it, before replacing the lid.
If you’re really lazy you could always order room service breakfast, usually for an extra-charge, and enjoy it in your cabin naked as nature intended and without witnesses if that’s your wish.
But then you’d be missing the opportunity of seeing most if not all of your fellow passengers at their most revealing. And vice-versa.
And that’s a sight worth savouring for you can learn a lot by studying fellow diners first thing in the morning before they’re fully awake
As the poet Walter de la Mare once said:
‘It’s a very odd thing -
As odd as can be -
That whatever Miss T eats
Turns into Miss T.’
Anthelme Brillat-Savarin put it even better:
‘Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are.’
I won’t bore you with details of all the food I’m inclined to funnel down my throat at breakfast on a cruise except to say it would confirm to all the appalled people witnessing this tragic event that I am related to large Irish pigs.
Watching the defectives
But they can think what they like for it wouldn’t bother me. I’ll be too busy looking for the passengers who dared to come to a public breakfast without washing, shaving or changing out of their bedroom attire.
And it does happen every now and then…Which is when the stewards lead the Captain off to the brig with instructions to ‘put your trousers on, you silly old bugger, and sober up’.
Seriously, I tend to judge ships (and hotels) by the quality of their breakfast, for it is an easy thing to get wrong. And if they can’t get the most important meal of the day up to speed what chance have we got for a decent lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper?
I remember having my first breakfast on a very well known British liner in the Caribbean several years ago where the sausages didn’t come up to scratch and the bacon was fizzy with sodium. I’m sure they’ve improved since then, hopefully after throwing the chef to the sharks, so I won’t name and shame them.
This isn’t what I ordered!
The great gourmand/gannet, Oscar Wilde, had several appalling culinary experiences, including one on which he commented,
‘When I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.’
And then there’s that ship that recently introduced a mediocre Japanese-Jewish restaurant called So-sumi.
You can tell I’ve written this before breakfast, can’t you.
I hope you enjoy yours.
By the way, a cereal bar is really a cleverly marketed unimaginative sweet and a waste of an empty stomach first thing in the day.
Related posts:
- Three Men In A Cruise Ship (To Say Nothing Of The Dog) There were four of us – George, and William...
- I think, therefore I am – a 21st century cruise ship Good morning children – and guest cruise ship students....
- 12 sports they’ll never allow on a cruise ship Why do some people think going on a cruise...
- What sex is your cruise ship? When we talk about sailing vessels we generally refer...
- Happiness Is A Happy Ship On cruise ships, misery may not like company but...
16 Comments
Mar 05 2010
11:59
One of the best breakfasts I had was when I was supposed to fly to Edinbugh on someone else’s charter flight which was cancelled so we had a llong wait and got diverted to Dublin arriving around 6 in the morning. As it was the tour operator’s fault everything was on them including hotel accommodation. Turned out the receptionist knew me from years back and informed me that during out stay we could have any thing we wanted at teh expense of thh tour operator so those who had been doverted had the full Irish brekkers washed down by French Champagne . Oh for the days when companies really did f… up and paid for it!
Mar 05 2010
12:04
Hi James
Being half Scottish my brekky is porridge mixed with bran and a dash of dried berries. This is followed by two slices of toast, one with honey one with marmalade and a mug of tea, no sugar.
This keeps me going to lunchtime, no problem.
What gets me are the lads who eat a packet of crisps and a diet coke on their way to school, what are their parents doing to them?
A good wholesome breakfast is the most important meal of the day, bon appetite. Rob Jackson.
Mar 05 2010
12:08
Whenever anyone mentions breakfast I always think of that great Audrey Hepburn movie, The Nun’s Story.
Mar 05 2010
12:09
Hi James
I forgot to mention, the best breakfast i had was the first time i went horse rideing in Arizona, the morning ride took us up to the hills where the chuck wagon awaited us and at eight fifteen we where served with eggs, bacon, hash browns, toast and coffee whilst enjoying a fantastic view of the mountains and desert, unforgetable. Rob
Mar 05 2010
14:18
Milton haven’t een the film for years and can’t remember what she ate – “a waife and a slig of wine” (The bidy and blood of Christ”?) Let me know
Mar 05 2010
14:26
It so depends on the previous evening.
Breakfast is the start to the day. Get it wrong and the day can be ruined. Get it right and you’ll want to live forever (by the way the only way to do that is to discover the perfect volume of good malt to be consumed each day – and in that I think I’m doing pretty well, so far).
Following an evening of unusual sobriety I’d go for the full English without the tastless mushrooms. There are few flavour combos as good as the bacon and tomato. Orange juice to start (freshly squeezed and sipped if poss). Tea throughout. Post b’fast to add that seal of termination: black hair-raising coffee.
Easy.
……and oh, always cook breakfast yourself. No-one can make things taste as good but be prepared for grief about the frying pan.
Mar 05 2010
14:49
Can’t beat a full english with endless cups of tea and preferably cooked by someone else!
Mar 05 2010
17:00
Jenny, if I remember rightly she wanted a full English sunny side up all-day thingy but it turned out to be a jewellers in New York. I may have got the wrong film.
Mar 05 2010
17:13
Being an American, from New England, we like what we call the Lumberjack Special. That means big servings of lots of foods and a bottomless cup of coffee.
If I were at your buffet I’d try a bit of everything and go back for what I really liked. I guess that makes me your typical grazer.
I think the biggest draw for a cruise is the food and I agree with Brenda, anything cooked by someone else is great. They clean up for you too. WOW!
Note to self: Lose weight in advance, find a travel companion, book a cruise!
Mar 05 2010
17:20
Personally I like an Ulster Fry; that’s double saussage, double bacon, potato bread & soda bread (shallow fried), beans, tomato and toast. All washed down with a BIG mug of tea.
Not exactly something you can get on any cruise ship I’ve been on. Maybe I should bring my own potato and soad bread and see if they’ll fry it up for me…
Mar 05 2010
20:39
in India it’s curry for breakfast , dinner and tea- you’d think you’d get fed up (excuse the pun!) but no -because it’s delicious- even more lovely than curries here- all entirely different-to be recommended!especially with a view of the ever changing Taj Mahal.
Mar 06 2010
10:36
I’ll never forget my first breakfast when I sailed with Virgin. Being an early riser I was usualy the first to enter the breakfast/dining room. As the others would stroll in, some half asleep, I began to get a picture of people and the way we are influenced by the most important meal of the day.
The breakfast itself was absolutely brilliant. Starting with grapefuit, then the many breakfast cereals, which I declined. The ‘full english’ was as it was written. You name it and they had it, almost ready, in what felt like, no time at all.
The tea and coffee was wide-ranging and always fresh. Just brilliant. I wonder if Virgin maintain the quality throughout there cruises. Thank you Virgin -Munch away!
Mar 06 2010
21:22
James, now steady on with the comments about the large Irish Pigs – that’s what the missus calls me. Anyway I agree with Sean, hard to beat a good Ulster Fry, and I know on some of your frequent visits to the Emerald Isle, you have been known to partake.
Cheers Brian
Mar 08 2010
10:54
Brian, I’m half-Irish and wouldn’t dream of upsetting my friends across the water. Yes, I do love Ulster Fry a.k.a.death-on-a-plate but I have drawn the line at ordering a Paddy Pizza in Belfast (Ulster Fry on a pizza base) for lunch as even for me it’s too much. One of the best breakfasts I have ever eaten was in the Hotel Sacher in Vienna where I added a huge slice of Sachertorte (originally created by one of the hotel’s chefs many decades ago) and a great dollop of thick double cream to the marvellous brekkie that almost burst my trousers. At the time I looked at this lovely chocolate cake and thought ‘I shouldn’t! But when the hell will I ever get the chance again…’ It was unctuous, wonderful, extravagant, totally sinful and delicious. But I’ve never seen it served, for breakfast anyway, on a cruise ship. I think it’s time they added it to the cornflakes. Vienna, alas, is nowhere near a sea port but you could get there on a river cruise…I’d love Virgin to add river cruises to their itineries but they’ve got enough to deal with. But however you travel on the water and wherever you end up I do hope you all enjoy a full and proper breakfast, which will set you up for a day of wonders.
Mar 13 2010
17:54
The best breakfasts by far used to be served at Sea Change B&B in Bembridge. I should know as it was my good lady who cooked them. Sadly we’re not running the B&B now but we’ve got hundreds of written recommendations. The secret is good quality, free-range ingredients, home grown tomatoes and mushrooms .. oh, and use clarified butter for excellent fried bread.
Mar 15 2010
7:26
Quite right James, Virgin could do a lot worse than river cruises. There are many wonderful rivers to enjoy. Keep on tapping.