Accentuate the positive – and have a Happy New Year

My wife accused me of procrastination just before the Chimes of Midnight rang in 2010. So I stopped writing my 2009 Christmas cards and wished her a Happy New Year.

And what a year it promises to be.

The World Cup, the Commonwealth Games, the world hopefully coming out of recession, Iron Man 2, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part one, and Simon Cowell launching The X Factor in America, before he takes over the world.

And all of it viewable from the warmth and safety of your couch, on which millions of people seem permanently planted as the new human potato crop.

Up to now, mixed-media has allowed many people who wouldn’t otherwise move themselves away from their PC to actually stand up (Heaven’s Above!) and enjoy more of life.

For you can now stand in front of a huge screen in your home and play games and music alongside the Beatles, ski, knock virtual tennis balls over the virtual net, and dance yourself virtually into a decline.

The next inevitable step will be accentuated reality, which will allow us to literally shake hands (or other things – keep your mind out of the gutter!) with someone on the other side of the world through the Internet.

I’ve decided to call it Accentuated Internet, for A.T. is the next stop after I.T. Remember you read about it here first.

Which reminds me of the cruise ship captain giving a New Year’s Day pep talk to his crew:

”This isn’t my ship. This isn’t your ship. This us our ship.”

Then one of the crew yelled out: “Good. Let’s sell it.”

Which is not advice I’d recommend, for sea cruises are growing from strength to strength, and a great way to take a holiday.

It’s all a long way from those far-off boring old days when a holiday meant a trip to a resort.

Many of my friends have recently taken a sea cruise with their families, for the first time. For what better than for you and your nearest and dearest to get together on a pampering floating resort. You get to join them (or not) at all those lovely meals, and they get to choose their own entertainment, or hide in the bilges. And you all get to share the excitement of travelling as a group – with other like-minded people, some of whom you will almost certainly make friends with – to all sorts of exotic places.

All you have to do is step away from your PC and take that cruise. I know it can be difficult. I’ll send you a crowbar if you get stuck.

And if you miss the virtual reality you’ve just escaped from, don’t worry for it will follow you wherever you go, for cruise ships are high-tech places

And if cruise ships adopt A.T. (why wouldn’t they…) then you’ll be able to pat the new baby that’s just been born at home on the head, stroke and sooth your pet (left behind, alas), and – if you’re a workaholic – sign off that global business deal with a virtual smile, Roman-style arm-clasp and handshake.

As the song says, it’s time to eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, spread joy up to the maximum, bring gloom down to the minimum, and have a little faith in this brave new world.

Otherwise pandemonium is liable to walk upon the scene. Especially if you get left behind in the virtual rush.

For at some time in the near future you will accept a artificial world as an extension of your reality

The interface between you and the machine will vanish and you will be totally immersed in a taste of the cruise to come.

It will be a time to reach out and touch as well as see and hear.

But none of this will ever take the place of actually getting to the port, stepping onto the cruise ship, and sailing off to personally see a world you would otherwise only experience, second-hand.

If you’d like a sample of what’s on offer – click on those cruise ship (and stopover port) web cams. Then imagine what it would be like to virtually be there…

Take it from me, actually living life to the full on a cruise is great. Don’t miss it if you can.

And in spite of the cost of living, I’m please to report that it’s still popular.

Happy New Year.

James Leavey

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Posted in Humour

01 Jan 2010

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